The Troll Hunter: Justin Bieber on YouTube

Troll

Welcome to the Troll Hunter, an original Tube Chum series where we browse YouTube’s most popular channels, dig out some troll comments and name and shame the offenders. This week, we’re looking at the YouTube channel of troubled heart-throb, Justin Bieber.

So here we are again. It seems like only yesterday that we were sifting through One Direction‘s YouTube channel in the hope of finding some luscious troll activity. This time around, though, we’re visiting Mr JB. Let’s take a look at some of the most entertaining comments from Bieber’s very own YouTube trolls.

As a side note, I promise I’ll do my very best not to let my semi-overwhelming hatred for the spoiled, obnoxious, egotistical and ignorant Justin Bieber get the better of me. Let’s go.

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Breaking news here at TubeChum.com: Justin Bieber isn’t actually male. Well, we’re just following what we’ve been told by our first highly-passionate (but semi-illiterate) troll featured in today’s post, LegoStarWarsGod.

Mr Lego has been quick to tell the Belieber’s that the name on Bieber’s birth certificate is in fact Justina. It’s a shocking revelation that we’re guessing will hit the news networks in the coming days. LegoStarWarsGod claims that Justina lip-syncs her songs but ‘sounds like a girl pooping’ when she does sing.

Lego is quick to add that you should check out his own videos to see what real ‘talent’ is. We decided to take the bait and headed over the channel, but were disappointed to see a 12-year-old boy playing Minecraft on his webcam.

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Justin’s recent (probably. I don’t know.) hit, Confident, seemed to go down well in his channel comments. This Belieber pictured above thought that the tune was ‘perfect’, but Nathan Bologna was quick to remind her that she’s wrong. We’ve never placed a fuse box in a blender but we’ve heard Justin’s new song, so maybe we don’t need to.

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It’s not all bad news, though. Justin’s latest tune actually saved the life of YouTube user Bandee, and he was quick to inform Belieber’s of his story. We’d like to award Bandee with this week’s highly desirable Best Troll Comment Award for his account of his time in a coma. We wish him the best for the future.

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We were having a whale of a time reading through troll comments on Justin’s channel, but now we’re terrified after this harrowing message from iClassy. Whereas other Belieber’s see Justin’s music as something to be adored, it looks like iClassy sees it as a sign of the apocalypse.

We’re not sure if this is a troll comment or a threat, but whatever it is, we like it. Let’s all take a moment to pray for Justin’s soul. Here at Tube Chum, we’re wondering if the ‘demons’ iClassy mentioned will make it into Bieber’s next album. A strange, confusing comment that we had to share.

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Our final comment in this week’s Troll Hunter comes from a YouTube user we’ll refer to as Bill. Bill has arguably delivered to us one of the strangest comments ever to grace Justin Bieber’s YouTube page. We’ll type it out again so it gets the attention it deserves:

“Justin i am afraid no fence i will haveto remove your final breath from body as your music poor also brushyour teeths”.

We can only assume from the above comment that is was written by a very polite but very violent dentist. Joking aside, dental hygiene is vital if you want to keep your breath fresh, so it’s nice that Bill worked this medical advice into his death threat.

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Tom Morgan
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Tom Morgan

Co-editor at Tube Chum
British YouTuber, journalist and Arsenal fan. Co-editor, @TubeChum. YouTube: TomSpeaksWords. (New video every Sunday)
Tom Morgan
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